A yawning GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 24 April.


New Albany remains in administrative double-secret COVID lockdown limbo as we conclude the sixth week of incrementally accrued Gahanesque imperial powers.

As The Economist pointed out yesterday, “Rulers everywhere have realised that now is the perfect time to do outrageous things, safe in the knowledge that the rest of the world will barely notice. Many are taking advantage of the pandemic to grab more power for themselves.”

Rather than a city council meeting this or any other week, the body’s button-down president Bob “CeeSaw” Caesar instead addressed the city’s budget situation with a sing-along dial-up webcast from his backyard shed via a carrier pigeon named Zoom.

That’s about all for news, folks. A quick recap, beginning with something genuinely amazing. After a quarter-century of nothingness, the city’s downtown parking garage is receiving splashes of … yes … COLOR.

Say what? Look, it’s a pandemic parking garage painting innovation.

The newspaper is diminishing, and the publisher is in denial.

The newspaper shrinks — but let’s leave psychiatrists out of it, okay Bill?

Hanson’s not the only one. For the moment, my world’s already gone — and I won’t kid you, it’s been hard.

My homes away from home are gone, so the SOCIALIST is having BEERS WITH himself.

The relief effort continues at Pints&union, and if you’re able, please consider a donation. Joe Phillips and our coordinator Jamie Yeager are doing the work of a half-dozen persons.

The LEE Initiative Restaurant Workers Relief Program at Pints&union, and how you can help by donating.