There was Typhoid Mary, now COVID Larry. Big guns, empty heads. Servants, back to work!


I received an e-mail from something called Liberate America, which claimed to be organizing these spontaneous protests.

I hit the “Unsubscribe” but just couldn’t find the “Piss Off Douche Cap” button.

How very disappointing.

These People Aren’t Freedom Fighters—They’re Virus-Spreading Sociopaths, by Elie Mystal

The “liberate America” protesters claim they just want to make their own choices about their health and safety, but they really want to force others to risk their lives.

I’m going to make a confession: I am half inclined to let the fringe Republicans agitating to “liberate” America go out and catch Covid-19 and die in whatever way seems best to them. Safely ensconced in my house, living under the protection of a Democratic governor, I am not required to care about maskless fools in Ohio, frosting the statehouse windows with their communicable diseases.

In related news: I’ve never once cared about a recreational mountain climber who goes missing halfway up Mount Killayadumass. You pays your money, you takes your chances.

And yet, I care about the sherpas. I care about the impoverished community of workers who make their living propping up the rugged individualist fantasies of richer people, and who sometimes die in the process of making the mountain-climbing economy work …


Philosophically, I’m okay with right-wing agitators’ going out there and getting the coronavirus at a protest, if they want to. Maybe I’m a bad person, but I just don’t have the emotional energy to care about the latest wound Republicans have decided to self-inflict in their never-ending quest to “own the libs.”

But they must not be allowed to infect everybody else. My freedom to live is every bit as important as their freedom to die.