GREEN MOUSE presents Nawbany Week in Review … and the siege begins.


Fuzzy Wuzzy was the week that was, and the week that was … now bereft of our customary amusements … wuz filled instead with uncertainty.

Those of you clamoring to live in fascinating, historically unique times, well, you got it.

I didn’t bother reporting on the most typically Nawbanian story of the week.

There was to have been a city council meeting on Thursday, with the main agenda item being the annual request for homeless services funding of the sort where New Albany gives money to people and organizations in Jeffersonville in the hope that the homeless don’t photo bomb Democratic Party re-election selfies.

Council president Tiberius Severus Octavian Elagabalus Septimius Augustus Claudius Hadrian Gluteus Maximus Caesar — Protector of Fitting and Proper Scribnerian Values, Deliverer of all Downtown Datedness, Master of the Ex-Mercantile, and Guardian of the Gates — also known as Bobby, decreed the meeting canceled, only to be reminded that this can be done only with a vote. Fidgeting followed, then the City County Building was closed to meetings in the interest of social distancing. Having always been socially distant, the council meeting finally was canceled owing to padlocks, and former councilman Dan Coffey immediately began posting again on Facebook.

Never, ever forget that I got more votes running as an independent for mayor than HE did. With this happy thought ringing in your ears (or was that my neighbor’s HVAC equipment?), following are some of the week’s headlines.

As for the first item, all I can say for sure is I know for a fact that state government is working on temporary changes to a few of the permits governing the ability of restaurants to sell carryout alcoholic beverages. When and how it will come down is above my pay grade, which currently is nothing.

And: Support your independently owned, genuinely local food and drink businesses, of which chain franchises are not — sorry, folks, but those pesky facts again. 

Indiana is following suit as Kentucky temporarily allows alcoholic beverage carryout and delivery by licensed restaurants.

BEER WITH A SOCIALIST: COVID-19 may be driving me to drink, and that’s fine because I’m walking, not driving.

ON THE AVENUES: If it’s a war, then the food service biz needs to be issued a few weapons. We need improvisation and flexibility to survive the shutdown.

SHANE’S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: Normalcy or normality? I’ve made up my mind.

City Hall, BOW take note and help as “New Albany Restaurants Transition to Curbside Pickup/Delivery Options.”

Did you do this, doofus? Surrender your commercial driving license immediately.

New Albany Mayor Jeff Gahan and the Floyd County Democratic Party show support for small independent businesses, and this is to be commended.

LIVE TO EAT: These downtown New Albany restaurants are offering carry-out and curbside meals.

This just in: Gov. Holcomb’s “Steps to Slow the Spread of COVID-19” include a shutdown of Indiana restaurants and bars (except for carry-out and delivery).

It won’t be pretty: “You know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself.”