Did you do this, doofus? Surrender your commercial driving license immediately.


Prior to Monday, I’d have found it hard to believe that a truck could come this close to felling the huge concrete building guard in the alley by Pints&union. It appears that American dipshit slapdash ingenuity has triumphed, because someone found a way.

In the process, more than a few gallons of oily liquid were spilled all over the alley, to be tracked up and down the sidewalk and into our building. We notified 3rd district councilman Phipps, who passed the information to the street department, and we’ll see. The concrete is compromised and will have to be repaired, having done its duty admirably.

My guess? The company that services our used kitchen oil collector. Their phone number is right there on the collection vessel in the alley — just in case the police launch an investigation.