GREEN MOUSE presents NAWBANY WEEK IN REVIEW for 31 January 2020.

Substitute Brown’s Station Way for Eastern Parkway for Nawbany’s two-way street project, and the anguished wailing of drivers is almost louder than the massed roar of their cars, but the thing that amazes me each time is the reluctance of the general populace to avail themselves of this “internet” thingy and EDUCATE THEMSELVES (egads) as to why, god, oh why would anyone try to slow me down?

My question is slightly different: Why oh why are people like me always expected to guide people like you by the hand like little children and explain these matters?

Now, where was I?

First, a reminder that only two days remain … today and tomorrow … to snatch a few bargains during the bookstore’s winding down.

The final business day for Destinations Booksellers is Saturday, February 1. Go there and buy books.

It was a slow news week in New Albany, but the Green Mouse got nicely limbered up by week’s end.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Not so fast on Form G’s Centenary church PR vaporware.

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: It turns out the “G” in Form G stands for “Groper.”

It comes down to this: When the local power elites begin self-deification and blatant propagandizing about a “done deal” about which no one has bothered to inform the property sellers, then there’s more to the story than is being reported.

Too bad we don’t have a newspaper.

For our “Photo of the Week,” we find the mayor lecturing dejected captive scouts about his favorite topic.

This week’s coveted Warren V. Nash Ineptitude in Agitprop Trophy goes to the city’s Facebook feed and this wonderful gem from Tuesday.

“Place your order online or inside at one of the kiosks,” reads the breathless blurb, as if it falls to the city to write blatant advertising copy for a chain restaurant.

Besides, as others quickly pointed out, these kiosks are designed expressly to remove the need for human beings as employees, thus rendering the “creating jobs” argument into just the same old economic dishevelment boilerplate.

Finally, to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the city attorney’s grip on bodacious bond bonuses, we’re returning to weekly wordplay.

The return of SHANE’S EXCELLENT NEW WORDS: Sycophants and other brown-nosing spaniels.

We’ll be back next week with another installment of Nawbany Week in Review as a new month begins in Year Nine of the Chronicles of New Gahania.