In Nawbany, the satire writes itself, as with this startling revelation from 2017.
After all, most everything of what little Duggins knows about anything he learned from Bill Clinton — probably at Keeneland.
ON THE AVENUES: Could that be David Duggins paddling across Jeff Gahan’s putrid cesspool? On second thought, I’ll take the blindfold.
Let’s review: In 2017 Jeff Gahan staged a hostile takeover of the New Albany Housing Authority, thus escalating the heart rate of every old white guy in town of Gahan’s own vintage who’d spent the past 50 years insisting that if we could just remove the poor (read: mostly black) people, this town finally could be something.
Seeing as Duggins already had assembled all the fixes our creaking TIF areas could allow while merrily monetizing at redevelopment, Gahan transferred our favorite Clark County transplant to NAHA, where he could abuse real human beings rather than funding and branding mechanisms.
File under “TASER Humor from Overpaid Functionaries.”
Week in review: Jeff Gahan created the Duggins debacle at NAHA, so stop normalizing his efforts to remain aloof.
In 2018, things got really interesting.
“I’m electric,” says a kite-bearing Duggins to Riverview residents as Gahan disappears into yonder bunker.
This brings us to the present day.
Queue the cattle cars, because Riverview Tower will be the next pawn in City Hall’s luxury enhancement crusade.
From the moment we heard about the public housing putsch two years ago, Gahan’s uncharacteristically transparent rationale was obvious.
1. Ship out the unsightly poor people living there — and who cares where they go?
2. Use that land for luxury “redevelopment” in the vital cause of pay-to-play campaign finance enhancement.
For the cynics, stalker, trolls and creeps (gypsies, tramps and thieves?) populating the fevered corridors of NA Confidential, this meant one prime goal above all others.
The nevermindset of selected bloviators like Gahan and Duggins — not to mention their hordes of slobbering sycophants and eager campaign donors — might be encapsulated as “poor people simply don’t deserve such a nice view, and we might far better deploy prime real estate for the elites.” In short, Riverview Tower always was going to be the centerpiece of the NAHA takeover.
The NAHA putsch was many things, among them sheer expedience. Donald Trump had been elected, and he’d presumably appoint wastrels of his own to look the other way as HUD was summarily pillaged. Who better than Trump to empathize with Gahan’s lamentation about the uselessness of a nice view if only wretched poor people have it?
What’s more, if Gahan didn’t act quickly in early 2017, Bob Lane might have been on the verge of succeeding in his long-sought goal of rejuvenating public/affordable local housing on a 1:1 basis, this being anathema to ranking local Democrats who’ve never been democratic at all when it comes to the challenges facing plain folks — and especially for Gahan, who would not receive proper ego-brushing for Lane’s hard work.
That’s because Adamization means gentrification, and Gahanism embraces loads of cash far beyond the disposable income of minimum wage employees, hence our prediction about the probable outcome of Riverview Towers, which we made from the very start of the putsch.
Under normal circumstances, there’d be no way to co-opt Riverview Tower, but by seizing NAHA in Our Time of Trump, banishing Lane and packing the governing mechanism with gutless lickspittles, Gahan engineered the possibility with extreme opportunism.
- emphasize Riverview Tower’s irreparable physical problems, blaming them on predecessors while ignoring more recent screw-ups committed by his own handpicked regime
- scatter the Tower’s residents for their own good (as Gauleiter Duggins openly signaled to the forever inattentive Chris Morris of the local chain newspaper)
- sell off the property for for the sort of “luxury” high-rise development that’s eternally more conducive to the engorged mayoral sense of self-importance than any conceivable dose of Viagra
All this has been written previously, and the Green Mouse is the first to admit that when we first began discussing the mayor’s Riverview Tower adaptive luxury reuse plan, it was intended to be tongue-in-cheek. However, as the months passed, Luxury Riverview became ever more plausible.
Now an insider has informed the Mouse that far from being imaginary, these musings are real, and ranking NAHA officials recently have been overheard discussing precisely just such an outcome for the building.
After all, the mayor has promised a slew of exciting new revelations during this, his majesty’s electoral re-enthronement drive of 2019.
To be clear, currently this is classified as RUMOR. We’ve no proof, at least yet. But it’s clearly something that could be done, and fits the DemoDisneyDixiecrat mantra.
In Nawbany, the satire writes itself — but does life imitate satire?