Your Sunday must-read: “Relax, Ladies. Don’t Be So Uptight. You Know You Want It.”


As a male of the species, one acknowledging his fair share of missteps and imperfections, it’s unclear to me how best to introduce this essay apart from stating that it makes perfect sense.

What has NOT made perfect sense to me over the years are lingering and idiotic notions like male chauvinism, toxic masculinity and the doctrine of women as inferior beings, particularly those attached to some manner of supernatural sanction.

Pfui. That’s plain rubbish.

Yes, there were times in my youth when I displayed overt symptoms of misogyny. I have no glib excuses for any of it, and I won’t cop a plea. I’d dearly love to forget those times, but cannot, because it simply wouldn’t be honest of me; besides, I learned from it. Eventually it dawned on me that I was dead wrong.

Being male is one thing, and being a dick is something else entirely.

Ever since then, I’ve tried my best to learn and improve. It’s a work in progress, and a process of awareness, one that never ends. Who wants to be remembered as a sexist, racist, or homophobic turd? Not me. People are people: full stop. We may disagree, but it won’t be because of your sex, race, or sexuality.

Your beer, on the other hand …

Relax, Ladies. Don’t Be So Uptight. You Know You Want It, by Anastasia Basil (Medium)

Remember the ’80s, when men preferred Hanes and could legally rape their wives?

… Movies, ads, and TV shows of the ’80s were tailored to give your dad a testosterone boost and teach your brothers to be men. Strong, no-bullshit men, the kind who say what they think and take what they want. Grab ’em by the pussy kind of men. No way was your brother gay. Or you. Unless you were into threesomes. A girl could be into another girl, but only to feed the male gaze, then it was hot. If two women truly loved each other they were going to hell. Read your Leviticus, but first, let me ask you a little something. You’ve got pretty red hair. Is it naturally red? Why don’t you let me see if the carpet matches the drapes? Relax. Don’t be so uptight. You know you want it.


We are all byproducts of a collective mindset. Those who question the mindset of their time and shine light on its moral defects are considered malcontents. And yet, it is malcontents like MLK who are (later) lauded as heroes — not for upholding America’s values, for shaping them. Here’s a fun game. Ask yourself: What strongly held opinion of mine will my grandchildren one day struggle to understand?

The 23 percent of Americans who supported civil rights in 1963 knew exactly what they were doing. They didn’t accidentally do the right thing. They weren’t accidentally on the right side of history. Instead of bullheaded allegiance, they questioned, examined, and took a knee to the moral defects of their time.


Have you ever known someone who hasn’t changed their hair style in decades? They still have the bangs they had in seventh grade? There are people who haven’t changed their views since seventh grade, either. We shouldn’t use our present-day ideas and perspectives to judge the distant past (the Parthenon was built by slaves), but if someone drags an antiquated moral norm into the present, they should expect to be held in account.

final snip

I wonder… would today’s anti-feminists be yesterday’s anti-suffragettes? #WomenAgainstSusanBAnthony

Want to know what a feminist is? A feminist is a person who, instead of being the docile pet of their generation, rears back and bares their teeth. The idea that we no longer need feminism is absurd — it’s the equivalent of technology stopping at the floppy disc.