Anchor-approved arborist: Perhaps David Barksdale’s Tree Bored can use this exciting new toy to “beautify” Market Street.

“Damn,” said former redevelopment kingpin David Duggins. “If only we’d used one of these for the Greenway, Summit Springs, Main Street, Judge Cody’s place, Thomas Street, Bicentennial Park … say, do ya think it might work on those crappy buildings at my public housing estate?”