Looking ahead to 2019, Ben Carson hoists Jeff Gahan on his own comprehensive plan.


(Associated Press — June 18, 2019)

A special judge has ruled that New Albany mayor Jeff Gahan must comply with the comprehensive plan his own groveling bootlickers wrote.

At stake is an 8% affordable housing component in the new “Mayor Jeff Gahan Presents the Warren V. Nash Government Center and Basement Anchor Splash Pad at the Historic Reisz Furniture Warehouse Store.”

Is the MJGPWVNGCBASPHRFWS an office or housing? As stated in the the city’s 2017 Comprehensive Plan:

When the City of New Albany is a partner in the development of housing through public incentives, a total of 8 percent of the units shall be affordable.

The controversy began when the NA Confidential blog, which no one in New Albany reads, published leaked photos of secret plans to install a complete guest suite in the new city hall for the use of visiting dignitaries.

The 3rd floor suite with hot tub, sun deck, Keurig and pneumatic tube for convenient campaign finance deposits was to be called the David Barksdale Historic Preservation Cash Menagerie, named for the Republican councilman whose key vote enabled Democrats to spend $10,000,000 renovating a building that sold for only $390,000.

According to Adam Dickey, chairman of the Floyd County DemoDisneyDixiecratic Party as well as a permanent sycophantic member of the Redevelopment Commission, “We are thankful that Barksdale fell for that crazy Gahan fib about jumping parties and becoming the mayoral heir apparent. I’m sorry the Republicans kicked him out, but we don’t want him as a Democrat — and I’m pulling enough strings from behind closed doors as it is.”

However, a group of homeless public housing residents displaced by Gahan’s mass demolitions filed a complaint, and Special Judge Ben Carson — appointed by President Donald Trump for the precise purpose of ensuring Gahan doesn’t steal ALL all of The Donald’s dirty tricks — agreed with the plaintiffs that the guest suite constitutes luxury housing, and therefore is subject to the city’s comprehensive plan.

As Carson read the verdict from the tailgate of a pickup truck parked at the Bob Evans on State Street amid a phalanx of federal troops, municipal corporate counsel Shane Gibson interrupted him with an objection.

“But our beloved Mayor Gahan … “

“SIT DOWN,” replied Carson. “And don’t think for a moment I can’t whip your butt one-on-one.”

As usual, Gahan could not be reached for comment, but Deputy Mayor Mike Hall released a preliminary plan for compliance with the ruling.

“Here’s your stupid 8%,” said Hall, displaying this photo of the government center’s affordable housing units, to be located inside the public lavatories.