Peak inner city suburban Gahanism as HWC recommends buying IKEA when two local furniture dealers are yards away from the redesign atrocity.


Yesterday at a very private “public input” meeting, the braying luminaries informed us that we’d be needing tables and chairs for the soon-to-be unshaded northern expanse of Market Street between Pearl and State.

Of course, professional planning functionaries who spend most of their days indoors planning Disney vacations, then go to the air-conditioned gym for exercise, have no reason to consider shade in the context of walkability … but we digress.

According to HWC Engineering, the company that gets so many assignments from Dear Leader that it established an office right across the street from his, there’ll need to be an all-expenses-paid road trip to Indianapolis or Cincinnati, because … I mean … shouldn’t it be obvious … any city in the process of demolishing public housing units needs IKEA for street furniture downtown where the cool people with money hang out.

So much for localism.

Seriously, how many donations to Jeff Gahan’s re-election campaign have to be deposited before local merchants like Schmitt and Classic get to put in bids?

Ah, but who are we as proletarian laymen to question the highly remunerated expertise of HWC’s suburban design engineers?