We’re confused. Does McLaughlin’s censure climbdown mean he isn’t a mayoral contender any more, or is he the front runner now?


(Thanks to Jeff Gillenwater for today’s header.)

There were somewhere around 80 people at the city council meeting on Monday night, and perhaps in direct response to Pat McLaughlin’s censure resolution, management of the City County Building (it’s owned by the county) decided to remodel both 3rd floor restrooms, which were closed.

Feeling the effects of pregame cocktails, I sneaked a peek at the men’s room.

It was in such a state of demolition that for a moment there, I thought I was privy to one of David Duggins’ wet dreams about the future of public housing.

On the topic of poo, irresolute thinking as muddled as McLaughlin’s should disqualify him from consideration for any future office, but this is New Gahania, not Birdseye, and by noon today the DemoDisneyDixiecratic Party’s resident Machiavelli in Knee Pants (A. Dickey) will have transformed McLaughlin’s clueless farce into another great propaganda victory for Dear Leader.

How the AdamBot spins this abysmal train wreck is a mystery, but so it goes here in the land of congenital political underachievement.

For the best council coverage you can steal for 600 words at a 3rd-grade level of comprehension during two minutes’ reading time, visit the newspaper.

Chris Morris also reports the outcome of the latest zoning imbroglio, in which a development proposed for the corner of Green Valley Road and Daisy Lane was defeated.

Following are five points I learned amid the straining bladders.

1. Clearly, the cynically fabricated hue and cry over Knable’s statement to the News and Tribune has had far less to do with his actual comment than seeking to deflect any rational discussion of a combined 9-1-1 call center for city and county — although if there were a few stray points to be scored by attacking Knable’s character, the DemoDisneyDixiecrats are happy to take them. There weren’t many, and overall, it’s hard to imagine a bigger public relations misfire.

2. Given that there is a rational case to be made for a combined call center (as well as a corresponding argument against it), and seeing that the sliming of Knable was meant to derail anything that might resemble “truthful dialogue,” we’re compelled to consider the call center issue from a different angle: who currently wets their beaks from the dual call center organization as it presently stands? In short, it’s time to follow the money, especially when the upper echelons insist that it’s about safety, not cash.

Speaking for myself, I’m pro-union and anti-unigov, but the presence last evening of a spokesman for the call center/dispatcher union provides one clue; another might be found in a detailed examination of the mayor’s campaign finance records.

3. Police chief Todd Bailey is planning to run for office. Granted, he hasn’t said as much, but since this contrived controversy first reared its nasty, snarling, Gahanesque head, no public appearance by Bailey, as ostensibly devoted to defending the integrity of his unfairly maligned officers (heavens; spare us the melodrama, please), has come without the earnest recitation of his personal curriculum vitae. Bailey currently is jostling with Greg Phipps to determine which of the mayor’s hips will be a target for attachment, but of the two, I suspect only the former has the requisite ambition.

4. Speaking of Phipps, the single greatest political disappointment of the current generation, who is fond of bragging about his Olympian detachment when it comes to decision-making, but unfortunately tends to embrace reasoning that mimics the circuitous gibberish of the Delphic Oracle rather than Mr. Spock’s Vulcan logic, he was spared from casting a “yes” vote on Monday by virtue of McLaughlin’s disintegration. However, Phipps hurriedly reminded the chamber that when it comes to cooperation between city and county, he is opposed to any measure that involves space aliens outside city limits.

Gahan himself couldn’t have said it any better, and this is the point. Sycophants, unite — you have nothing to lose apart from your dignity.

5. Answering Phipps’ expression of disdain for perfidious county reactionaries (psst, Greg … Democrats live there, too unless your implying that … ), Knable reminded the room that county government recently came into an inheritance, this being the proceeds from the sale of the hospital — and maybe, just maybe, this is a good sign as it pertains to future cooperation.

Speaking only for myself, sometimes when the facts change, one must recalibrate his opinions. County government no longer is the self-starving mechanism of old, and the closing of JeffBoat assures Clark County of a 20-mile-long development (and redevelopment) corridor from Charlestown and River Ridge to the South Clarksville project at the former Colgate. I may or may not like it, but this is the case. Unfathomable heaps of money are roosting there, and more is coming. If our plan is to bask in the backwash, it would be helpful to have a coherent niche. Right now, we don’t.

A luxury dog spa nestled atop a Native American sacred area just might not be enough for New Albany and Floyd County to cope with the ramifications. Instead of wasting everyone’s time with a resolution of censure derived from the reeking DemoDisneyDixiecratic swamp of petty and limiting self-interest — those great big fish in this curbside puddle by the handicapped ramp — perhaps a genuine commitment to the as-yet purely euphemistic “truthful dialogue” might help us move forward in the coming years.

A final takeaway: The usual DemoDisneyDixiecratic bait and switch — gestures and signalling about social justice as intended to provide cover for the grubby excesses of the local party’s patronage machine — bears no similarity to the words “truthful dialogue” except as an expression of brutal irony, and as we know, they don’t do irony. If there is any lasting value to be derived from McLaughlin’s idiotic censure resolution, it’s the appearance of these words, “truthful dialogue” within it.

Consequently, if anyone sees “truthful dialogue” emanating from a local ranking Democrat, please let us know. It would be a veritable holiday from the prevailing malice.