Schlock and awl: Duggins’ captive NAHA to meet the candidates, prepare voter lists for future persuasion, and play-act some make-believe democracy.

But are they registered to vote?

Over at the New Albany Housing Authority, Commissar David “125K” Duggins is getting into the spirit of democratization, announcing that President Alexander Lukashenko of Belarus has endorsed Duggins’ bid to become Executive Director for Life.

Not only that … a party!

But seriously, there really will be a pre-primary candidate panel and loyalty oaths voter registration rally on Thursday, March 29, from 6:00 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. at the Erni Avenue gym.

Structural engineers have affirmed that the gym should be able to withstand the shock waves of hypocrisy emanating from Team Gahan members in attendance.

Below, the text of the letter announcing the event. As a friend observed, “As you can see, an uninformed reader might come to the conclusion that Duggins cares about the residents.”

NA Confidential readers know better, of course, as do South Seas islanders and the woman in the moon.