Look, guys — it’s Inflatable Date Night! Ultimately, and unfortunately, this is how Deaf Gahan is spending your tax dollars.


It’s been advertised on social media with promoted posts for weeks, and occupies space on the City Hall website navigation bar alongside street closures and the calendar of events.

Folks, meet your city government, hard at work spending your tax dollars.


Are you tired of the same old “dinner and a movie” for your date night out? Are you looking for something fun, unique, and new? Come join us at this year’s ULTIMATE DATE NIGHT! This 21+ over event features adult-sized inflatables, card games, and more! Our friends from District 22 Pizzeria will be on hand serving pizzas and adult beverages to keep you refreshed and ready for more fun!

ULTIMATE DATE NIGHT is only $5 at the door!

Of course, if no one shows up, inflatable crowds also can be rented.

It’s called preserving the sanctity of the photo op, and they’d be no more air-headed than most of the Floyd County Democratic Party’s leading elements, but let’s have a look at some of the inflatable charms awaiting Deaf’s chosen hardy-partying demographic.

Hippo Chow Down

Backyard Derby

Obstacle Challenge

Soccer Darts

And Team Gahan’s own favorite inflatable frolic …

The Public Housing Wrecking Ball

Of course, there are problems inherent to inflatables of all types.

There are times when satire alone cannot tell the whole story. This might well be one of those times. But take heart, because there’ll be “adult beverages” at Inflatable Date Night.

Speaking of stopwatches, is it time yet to begin discussing the Gahan-created parks department’s persistent deficit, and the measures currently being taken to subsidize it?