SATIRE ALERT: Develop New Albany announces immediate need for turbans, flutes and rubber snakes — and maybe a tomahawk, just to be safe.

This is NOT India.

It may not be as obvious as sombreros, maracas and the Frito Bandito’s Suburbanite Fight Song …

But this IS Develop New Albany.

 … so I’ll diagram today’s satire, starting here with DNA’s forthcoming networking gig at a new business which will learn the truth soon enough.

The Kula Center is hosting the event, and it looks like the Kula Center is going to be an awesome place (and this is no satire).

The Kula Center is your destination for health and wellness in Southern Indiana. Located in downtown New Albany, services currently include yoga instruction, massage, health coaching, cupping, and meditation.

Kula means community of the heart in the Sanskrit language, and that is what you will find at The Kula. Integrated into a historic neighborhood, with grounds that include century old trees, a visit to The Kula Center will lift your spirits and provide new insights into how to live your best life.

In retrospect, I wish the Kula Center hadn’t mentioned those century-old trees; somewhere, Jeff Gahan’s sawdust-flecked ears are twitching, and he’ll be down at the Street Department lubing the Husqvarna before dusk falls.

The point is Sanskrit.

Sanskrit is the classical language of Indian and the liturgical language of Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism. It is also one of the 22 official languages of India. The name Sanskrit means “refined”, “consecrated” and “sanctified”. It has always been regarded as the ‘high’ language and used mainly for religious and scientific discourse.

Experience hath shown that DNA won’t be able to resist the temptation to “reach out” for a low cultural denominator to appropriate, and what could be more stereotypically inappropriate than snake charmers?

Because … as with those as yet unaddressed sombreros, maracas and delighted Frito Bandito squeals … snake charming is a delicate topic.

But, let’s learn more.

BBC investigates India’s snake charmers and gets told that all the snakes left in 1947

The channel raised a storm on social media after asking whether India should erase its snake charming culture to embrace modernity.


This is how we construct satire with a positive and educational message, even if DNA refuses to acknowledge this or any of my recent messages.

India’s wonderful, Kula’s cool, and we’re never going to forget DNA’s Taco Walk transgressions for so long as the taxpayer-supported organization refuses to address them publicly.

C’mon, DNA: The time has come. A fact’s a fact. Taco Walk belongs to her. Why not give it back?

DNA’s and the newspaper’s masks … or, thoughts occasioned by an excellent essay called “Meet the man who hides behind a mask.”

Come to think of it, I may have over-thought this satire. If Sanskrit is an official language of India, and if Indians live in India, then we should expect to see this sort of misplaced Indian stereotype.

SMH. Anyone have numbers on DNA’s municipal funding level?