Metro Louisville’s pitch to Amazon promises “a quality of life second to none for every Amazonian.”

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Dude.

Amazonian

Am·a·zo·ni·an

1. of, like, or characteristic of an Amazon
2. [oftena-] of an amazon; tall, strong, aggressive, etc.: said of a woman
3. of the Amazon River or the country around it

Promising (at least to me, given my proclivities), but maybe GLI, Wendy and the gang should have found a few liberal arts majors to work on the prose — or pros, as opposed to amateurs.

Exclusive: Greater Louisville’s Amazon proposal, a great pitch, or a foul ball? (LEO Weekly)

We knew it would not be long before the local application for Amazon’s second headquarters was leaked, and it so happens that LEO got a peek at it — first.

The bid detailed on a six-part website, a collaboration of government and business leaders in Louisville, Kentucky and Southern Indiana, touts the region’s obvious, best selling point — location, location, location. It also employs expected hyperbole — “unprecedented collaboration with university and public administration partnerships, as well as strong incentives and easy transit.” Ha! “Easy transit …” And then there is the boast of “a quality of life second to none for every Amazonian.”

In what seemed like defeatist, meta, self-reflection, the introduction says picking Louisville involves “swinging for the fences” because we “may not be the obvious choice for Amazon, but we are the bold choice.” The phrasing and, as it turns out, much of the intro video, parrots Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos’ annual shareholder letter. Using his words is smart, perhaps, but once he gets the joke, will Bezos be willing to risk a $5 billion mistake… er, investment by coming here? …

… Certainly, in the coming days and weeks, arguments will be had about the proposal’s content. We thought it would be instructive to take a critical look at how the proposal was presented — Did Louisville use its millisecond elevator pitch effectively, or has the door shut on us before we had a chance? So we asked someone from a local advertising agency for their thoughts (he asked to remain anonymous) …

Previously:

Amazon’s bid: More required reading that Wendy Dant Chesser and One Southern Indiana will add to their bonfire of the vacuities.

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