Top Ten posts at NA Confidential for September, 2017.

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You really want fresh fish, don’t you? 

Thanks for reading NA Confidential, where we enjoy scanning the neglected periphery for uniquely local perspectives.

I’m delighted at NAC’s September numbers, especially since I took a ten-day holiday and did the bare minimum of posting during this time.

Overall, September readership testifies to a keen ongoing interest in New Albany stories, perhaps because they’re being chronically under-served elsewhere. After all, stenography gets us only so far.

The September list begins with ten “honorable mention” posts, before concluding with the Top Ten, escalating to No. 1. Stats are derived from Google’s internal numbers listings.

SEPTEMBER TEN HONORABLE MENTION

383

The 2019 mayoral race is handed a critical debating point: “$80M Sherman Minton Bridge project to extend life up to 50 years.”

I missed all the fun with last week’s Sherman Minton repair revelations, but it seems the beaming powers-that-be are making reassurances about the absence of future tolling. They’re not to be trusted any longer than Dan Coffey’s attention span.

391 (tie)

ON THE AVENUES: Sniffles, gratitude and mental exhaustion. Apparently vacation is over.

Earlier this month, while enjoying the hop parade in Poperinge, a Moroccan feast in Mechelen and most importantly, the reclaiming of lapsed friendships in Haarlem, I was keenly aware of all these intersecting lines: where I’ve been, what I’ve learned, the state of my own consciousness, the absence of those who’ve left the room, and the sands in that damned cliché of an hourglass.

I thought a lot about the 14 years it took us just to make that street in front of the house run both directions … and how I’m not sure I want to devote another decade and a half to the next incremental, delayed and imperfectly understood example of what I just saw with my own two eyes in the Netherlands.

391 (tie)

Toto, we’re not on Spring Street any more — and other 2-pocalypse fallout shelters.

Stunningly, as though genuinely adept at debating, the mayor scores points against Seabrook, who has not ever showed even a slight grasp of street grid modernity.

398

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Dine Company + 302 Pearl Street buildout = ?

The Green Mouse was staggering eastbound on Market earlier this afternoon after a yummy meal of Aladdin and Cuban rum, and spotted this Dine Company truck’s crew working inside the as-yet unfinished suite at 302 Pearl Street.

400

Luddites wail, but Market Street slated to return to rationality next Tuesday morning.

The newspaper’s Morris attended this morning’s piano anniversary meeting, and he reports that Market Street’s reversion to two-way traffic will come next Tuesday, September 12, to be followed by Elm Street at an undisclosed date thereafter.

403

ASK THE BORED: Elm Street reversion rollout? Don’t ask, because it’s not the city’s top priority, or something like that.

It looks like the newspaper’s Elizabeth Beilman drew the short straw for the Board of Works meeting this morning, seeing as the usual Bored observer Chris Morris was otherwise occupied urging precipitate vigilante action against the owner of 519 Hausfeldt Lane.

410

Council Thursday: Heads up, tree contractors, because Bob Caesar wants to enforce your asses.

Tonight’s power poll winner already is obvious. It’s the city attorney, charged with enforcement of a whole new and upwardly revised set of fines for not properly disposing of tree limbs, litter, trash and unsold Bicentennial books.

436

In letter to newspaper, downtown shop owner disagrees with a parking policy that doesn’t exist.

Certainly Betty knows that the two-hour parking signs to which she refers were replacements for previous signs that read precisely the same — and which have not been enforced for six or seven years, since some time during the reign of King England III.

The current “improvements” aren’t the cause of the problem, if any. Rather, it’s non-communication once again, and the inability or unwillingness of downtown stakeholders to study and address parking the future of parking.

452

BREAKING: US Postal Service joins #TheResistance20152019, draws line in sand at the McDonald Lane roundabout.

Tonight’s satire is presented by … hubris. But I still think she means “uniform,” not uniformed.

461

New evidence reveals that New Albany area sign and banner makers contributed heavily to the two-way street lobby.

West you see it. East you don’t.

464

Is it the world’s shortest bike lane? Or stealth sharrows?

SEPTEMBER TOP TEN

492

GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Wile E. Coyote was booked, so David Duggins will stand in for Rick Pitino as this year’s Harvest Homecoming parade figurehead.

The Green Mouse has learned that Mayor Jeff Gahan will designate New Albany Public Hosing Director David Duggins as the official replacement for newly disgraced University of Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino, who was to have served as grand master of ceremonies for the annual event on Saturday, October 7.

606

What can two-way drivers see that one-way driver’s didn’t?

When Spring Street was reverted to two way traffic, some of the first comments I heard were about the urban tableau “looking different” than it did before. As someone who walks a lot, this observation didn’t make sense to me, at least until I realized that for many people a one-way perspective has been virtually the only one they’ve ever seen … while driving through downtown, and rarely walking.

683

Follow-up: “Something’s happening at 129 W. Market, where Wolf Supermarket used to be.”

We’ve had no official verification, but the circumstantial evidence gathered since the June posting strongly supports 129 W. Market as the future home of Dragon King’s Daughter. The Green Mouse was told that DKD would like to be occupying its new home by January 1, 2018.

718

Grid Control, Vol. 26: The 2-Pocalyptic contagion claims another victim as Market Street capitulates to modernity.

I walked the length of the Market Street reversion, and the first day of two-way traffic appears to have been smooth, with nothing near the agitated (and unwarranted) hair-pulling that accompanied Spring Street’s changeover two weeks ago.

742

Talk about a grand opening — it’s a Good Time to take a look inside what used to be Love’s Cafe.

864

GOP mayoral politics, 2019: Al Knable says no, Mark Seabrook says yes, and we say “WHERE’S THE BEEF, MARK?”

To date, since announcing his exploratory committee, Seabrook has been willing or able to reveal only that his family knew the Scribners personally, he really wants the job, and by extension, it’s his turn; he feels it is his sinecure to grab based on longevity and desire alone.

This makes me want to scream, and it cannot cut the mustard.

1,108

Grid Control, Vol. 27: A case of parking space inconvenience on Market Street.

“Where the street sign has been placed causes me to have to park so far forward that I cross the parking line. If I don’t when the kids get out of the car the door hits the sign post. Did anybody (with the street grid engineers) have a ruler when they designed the project?”

1,268

Spring Street stage block: “It’s like buying a new car and then putting it in the garage and driving a rental to work.”

“By chance, did anyone notice that Friday on Spring Street the city closed the single eastbound lane for a stage? I want to say we have a nice big stage somewhere already — it’s yellow?”

2,456

The New Albany location of Urban Bread Co. has closed, meaning that a restaurant opportunity just opened downtown.

Keeping it short and sweet: The Urban Bread Co. location at 145 East Main Street has officially closed, according to Jeff Mouttet, owner of Match Cigar Bar and the departing eatery’s landlord.

2,705

A few views from Hull & High Water’s soft opening. Regular business hours begin on Thursday at 4:00 p.m.

Hull & High Water is located at 324 E. Main Street, and if you’ve been around long enough to recall previous incarnations of this building, be prepared for bedazzlement. Steve Resch always does quality work, but this one is something special. Note the interior “fish tank” art, courtesy of David Thrasher. The long haul begins tonight ..

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