GREEN MOUSE SAYS: Anchors aweigh as Gahan self-empillars and Duggins refashions public housing after his own albatross.


The Green Mouse has learned of a plan to transform the Mark of Duggins as a fashion accessory for certain community members. The conversation went like this:

After all, the anchor “branding” symbol was Dugout’s idea in the first place, and now it has proliferated faster than cash-stuffed envelopes during paving season.

And yet — alack and alas and those cute little paper umbrellas floating atop rum drinks at Applebee’s — future political aspirant Duggins cannot receive credit for his artistry.

As we know, all ideas must be seen to flow directly from the brain of Dear Leader, our Little Father, the Genius of the Flood Plain, bountiful font of wisdom and coagulator of all known sagacity.

The Green Mouse says that because Jeff Gahan has grown impatient with the strength and intensity of adoration boomeranging back to him, he’ll be moving to implement a “fix” at the social event of the season.

Envelop New Albany is expected to agree wholeheartedly and commend the vastness of the sheer mayoral intellect that enables the organization’s daily work.

The Lifetime Empillarment Award is to be renewable annually, as prepaid and sponsored by our friends at HWC Engineering, at least until January 1, 2020, when the plaques for 2017, 2018 and 2019 can be tied to the nearest available Mark of Duggins and lowered from his trademark Tower into Ohio River for safekeeping as the civic clean-up crews arrive.

As an addendum, NA Confidential has been unable to confirm whether New Albany Mayor Jeff M. Gahan or anyone working in the city’s administration is under federal investigation or indictment for corruption, bribery or racketeering. It is standard policy of the U.S. Justice Department to refuse to confirm or deny the existence or non-existence of investigations or subjects of investigations. A similar policy exists at the F.B.I.

W. 1st crosswalk propaganda: Other cities allow artists to create art. Ours merely glorifies its own fix-is-in muddy anchor.