David Duggins will be the interim director of the New Albany Housing Authority, a job for which he has absolutely no previous experience.
As such, let’s make some lemonade.
I’m tanned, rested, ready and willing to replace Duggins as the city’s economic development director, a job for which I have absolutely no experience — but how hard could it possibly be giving away taxpayer money to people who already have it?
Here are six reasons to lobby your councilman on my behalf.
- No qualifications, low expectations.
- Pirates know how to steal a deal.
- I’m a team player: $80,000 a year with benefits shuts me right the fuck up.
- I promise to demand not one cash-stuffed envelope more than what my predecessor was receiving, according to the hash marks on the cigar box in the corner of his office.
- I pledge allegiance to the Random TIF Generator, and to the Gahanism for which it stands.
- Craft beer my ass. I’ll gladly quaff ice cold Bud Light Limes with paving company executives and visiting … condo development … sewer tap in abatements … those cattle cars.
On second thought, never mind.