ASK THE BORED: Irv’s latest proposal for trucking safety, noise non-exemptions, and a probable date for the two-way streets vote.


According to the Green Mouse, this morning at the Board of Public Works and Safety, Irv “Terminator” Stumler plans to unveil a compromise proposal from the Justice League of New Albany, a vigilante organization founded by New Albany’s trucking company superduperheroes for the purpose of preserving their mechanized environment from the vile depredations (look it up, Shane) of stupid people too poor to own cars.

Stumler will explain to the bored that since street safety for trucks is the ultimate concern of the Justice League, and while heavy trucks never, ever operate above the speed limit when traversing the city, it still might happen on rare occasions when the radar cops are out having doughnuts, and so it’s vitally important for precautions to be put into place in case of brake failure.

Specifically, one of these.

Stumler and the League already have the perfect site in mind.

BOW is expected to take Stumler’s proposal under advisement. Meanwhile, something odd occurred at last week’s meeting (October 4).

But didn’t the ordinance include just such a provision? Councilmen who may be reading: Huh? What gives?

Finally, the Green Mouse has been told that BOW’s vote on two-way streets will come at its first meeting AFTER the election, on Tuesday, November 15 — that is, if the Justice League doesn’t blockade Hauss Square with a fleet of Padgett’s erections.