ASK THE BORED: Now they’re branching out into festival micro-management.


Today marks the midpoint of BOW’s unofficial annual vacation, as it’s almost time for our most peculiar of institutions, a 501(c)3 non-profit, to assume responsibility for the management of downtown streets — with the board’s permission, though never with any accounting of how much the municipal infrastructure subsidy costs taxpayers each year.

After all, vendors from elsewhere directly paying Harvest Homecoming for the privilege of doing business on closed streets must enjoy a level playing field, even if local merchants are relegated to the fryer-oil-lubed shadows behind the booths.

We cannot allow any non-sanctioned proposal to disrupt normal Harvest Homecoming procedures downtown, given that normal Harvest Homecoming procedures already disrupt everything else downtown.
— Board of Works (quoted from body language, not actual words)

But take heart, downtown stakeholders; the floggings will continue until morale improves, because the City of New Albany is transitioning to new civic identity as HarvestHomeComingStan.

According to David “Bag Man” Duggins, the city’s economic dishevelment aggregator, the city’s new name is as plain as the anchor on his tramp stamp.

Following is an interesting tidbit from last Tuesday’s BOW session, in which chairman of the bored Warren Nash proposes renewed and diligent attention to the micromanagement of local festivals — well, except Harvest Homecoming, because with the undisclosed annual infrastructure subsidy, HH is always able to pack the streets with booths, even if they must be shipped directly from Guangdong.

We’ll try to do a better job of that next year, Mr. Nash.

By the way, did you notice that your Democratic Party’s tent was one of them? The Republicans didn’t bother.

This counts for extra credit — right?

Dude — look at those elephant ears!