A sidewalk etiquette primer, and Roger’s first rule: Get that bicycle off the sidewalk, adult.

No walking on this crappy sidewalk. Thank you, BOW.

If you publicly proclaim the position that two-way streets are not needed in New Albany because it’s already a bike-friendly place, and if every time I see you on a bike, you’re riding on the sidewalk, and often riding on the Spring Street sidewalk with a bike lane ten feet away, then we probably cannot communicate as adults … because you’re not behaving as one.

If it has wheels and can go as fast as a bike, you are probably terrorizing other people on the sidewalk—best to ride in the fast lane and take the bike lane instead.

If you say that there are no people there to terrorize, we’ve entered the realm of chicken v. egg. Grow up, and get a clue.

Otherwise, even I’ll admit that New Albany’s culture of walkability remains as far down the scale of down-low as Jeff Gahan’s personal appearance aptitude. That said, here are a few helpful hints on sidewalk etiquette.

I’ve edited them to bullet points, so click through and absorb — for the future, if not the present … or when you travel to real cities. Speaking from personal experience, when I was 25 years old and walking in European cities, I had to learn some of these tips the hard way. It quickly became evident that whether or not Americans realize it, we barrel and swagger.

Better to blend and enjoy the experience.

Yes, Your Sidewalk Etiquette Could Be Better: A primer on the rules of the pedestrian road, by Rachel Pincus (City Lab)

… When we take to the sidewalks, our manners kind of fizzle out. Hence the need for snarky faux infrastructure like the “texting lane. Here’s how to be better at sharing the space.

Stick to your right

Keep your ears open

Keep a good speed

Look where you’re going!

No vehicles, please

Don’t walk with a posse

Put the kibosh on sidewalk rage

Use data to avoid crowds