Area political IQ dips below the Mendoza Line as election draws near.

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As arranged to provide for a candidate to purchase front page ad space, thus appearing almost as an editorial endorsement of Frank Loop for sheriff, thus dooming us to a Steve Bush victory, here is the News and Tribune’s Voters’ Guide, which includes multitudinous gems of self-serving wisdom, like this one from Ted Heavrin:

“I have been asked by both parties to run for the position.”

Really, Dave Matthews? Not that it doesn’t make some measure of sense, given that Heavrin is as much a “Democrat” as Vladimir Putin is a member of Pussy Riot; and stranger things have happened in this cavernous intellectual vacuum.

Another memorable snippet comes from Ron Grooms, who makes a forceful case for his political experience, whenever it comes to watching other folks do all the heavy lifting:

“Salaries need to be increased,” purrs Grooms, who proceeds to spout vapid platitudes about education and training, sans the first original idea as to how someone in his position actually might affect such matters, short of being re-elected and repeating the platitudes next time around.

At least the voters’ guide is not surrounded with Hanson Eye Activated Remuneration Tentacles (see, the newspaper really does have a HEART).

Meanwhile, guest columnist Matt Nash, who as yet has managed to avoid the wrath of ‘Bama pensioner surrogates and retains his bully pulpit, sadly points to the obvious: You’ll all be bitching, and about three of you will vote OR bother to be involved in any sensible way with local affairs.

Hell, you might as well be Ron Grooms. What’s his salary, anyway?

NASH: It’s time to make some decisions

May has arrived and brought with it another primary election day. If I had to guess, I would say that newspaper opinion page readers are more prone to vote than members of the general public at large, but still the number of people that will be voting next week is going to be low.

Many people act like they are concerned at everything that is going on around them, but this primary election will likely still not generate much interest at all.

Are you concerned at the direction the state of Indiana is going? Do the bridge tolls or other highway problems concern you? Do you feel that Indiana is moving in the right direction as it pertains to the “gay marriage amendment?” Do you think that our schools are being funded properly, and do you agree with the direction of the state as it pertains to education?

Nearly everyone has an opinion on each of these matters, but very few will take the time to vote next week.

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