“In Australia, a biddy is a two-for-one McDonald’s voucher.”

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It says so here (number two).

The city has called a special meeting for Thursday morning, to be attended by representatives of the “downtown groups” (will Doug England’s re-election team be there?) and coordinated by Tonya Fischer, the city’s new 1Si-trained Economic Development Business Coordinator.

As I take great pleasure in reminding all and sundry, she helped bring us the Ohio River Bridges Project during her 20-year tenure at One Southern Indiana; now she’s here to assist the city in coping with the myriad, adverse ramifications of the ORBP.

In other news, an all-points-bulletin has been issued, because Karma has been reported missing and mutilated.

While I exist in a perpetual state of hopefulness, and regularly am reminded of the futility therein, surely Ms. Fischer has no idea as to the size of the too-many-cows pie she’s about to step into. As an example, last week, Develop New Albany served notice that downtown is all about it, because it’s time for the city to pay back the organization for the farmers market, which it did not originate, and which operates on property it does not own, and for which there exists no plan for future development.

Goodness gracious. How many times must we indemnify DNA’s creaking politburo? $108,000, then $340,000 … and for what? Another spin of the wheel as to what’s political and what isn’t? If it were up to me, we’d spend the entirety of Thursday’s meeting discussing how to remake DNA into something remotely youthful and relevant, and if reinvention is impossible, send it down the river on a hijacked coal barge, the EPA be damned.

Did I mention more youthful?

Anyway, meeting participants have been asked to contribute agenda items, probably because the city can’t think of any. I have a few, and just to make the gathering complete, I took it on myself to invite New Albany Clean and Green. Maybe I really should drink gin for breakfast Thursday just to be in the right frame of mind.

Readers, give me a hand. What sort of agenda items would you suggest?

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