Not to mention New Albany’s perennial Bi-Polar Leadership Vortex.


Now that the Polar Vortex of 2014 is receding into history, can we get real? After all, it wasn’t so unusual. We’ve had a vortex in New Albany for many, many years.

The Polar Pop Vortex, that is.

The Polar Pop Vortex describes the persistently repellant presence of those thousands of discarded, used drink cups littering downtown streets. When I mentioned it yesterday at Facebook, some very good comments were appended … like this one from Stephen:

Very clever; Polar Pop Vortex! Ha! Evidently I live within the Rally’s/White Castle Vortex which precisely extends to a radius of eight blocks, as my yard is the distance from the center that it takes to consume and dispose of leftovers, including the trash. The Polar Pop Vortex does not extend to my yard, but being 25 blocks away from the Polar Pop center, it still indicates the sheer 3-times larger PPV phenomenon.

That’s right: It’s all about the ratio of distance, isn’t it? Matt followed by expanding the topic.

I’ve been lobbying for E. Elm to be renamed the Polar Pop Memorial Highway. Everyone drives in one direction at highway speeds, so it seems like a no brainer.

A no-brainer? Of course it is, and we can only hope councilman Scott Blair is reading. He coined the phrase, so perhaps he can sponsor the name change, too, since it isn’t even in his district — and who ever heard of “quality of life” on Elm Street? That’s the human warehousing district, isn’t it?

But wait … on second thought, “highway speeds” most certainly are not the case on East Elm Street – why, the NAPD itself said so a couple months back after its comprehensive half-hour survey of the situation. Maybe those dusty radar guns will come back out during the forthcoming, Mansion Row-sponsored traffic survey, when John Rosenbarger triumphantly announces that streets he never wanted to convert into two-way to begin with would remain one-way for the benefit of long-haul truckers and NASCAR wannabes.

Meanwhile, Stephen had a postscript.

My yard is not far enough away (4 blocks) from Sunset Spirits to get the full pint bottles of Dimitri vodka. But again, precisely the distance to consume a half pint.

That puts it all into perspective, doesn’t it?