Dressing up for a date with the Health Department board.


The classic “scrubs” look never goes out of fashion. It reminds us of hospitals, deductibles, staph infections, and the public health imperative of ensuring that hand sanitizer is parked next to your progressive pint.

The Animal House look is a fun option, except that chugging a bottle of Jack really isn’t my idea of fun. Then again … Dr. Tom — what am I?

Maximum satirical impact undoubtedly accrues from the garden variety post-apocalyptic hazmat suit. But it obscures my grimaces and rolling eyes.

We’ll leave it at that. Americana’s always an option, but there’s a limit to what even I can take in pursuit of victory in the kangaroo court.