For the bicentennial, adaptive reuse of a beer fest program’s listings.


The Great Taste of the Midwest beer festival, which is held annually in the People’s Republic of Madison (Wisconsin; this year’s date is August 10), is NABC’s most entertaining yearly road trip. GTMW just might be the best beer festival in America, and we’re proud to be a part of it. Past highlights have been many, including that time in 2011 when we ran a program ad.

For this year’s program listings, I took a few liberties in order to tell a broader New Albanian story during the city’s birthday year. This year, we’re hoping to expand upon the usual theater and have a dress-up — for example, one of us costumed as Hoptimus, the Tricentennial future gal, or even Councilman CeeSaw. 

It should be great fun at a great taste.
NABC Beer Descriptions, for the Great Taste of the
Midwest 2013 official program.
At the NABC main station,
C02 pour:
IX – Ninth Anniversary
Ancient Rage
B’Urban Trotter (2011)
Bourbondaddy (2012)
Community Dark
Hacksaw Jim Dunkel
Hard Core Gore
Hoptimus (Bourbon Barrel
Mt. Lee
Stumblebus (2012)
The Dunwich Porter
Cask-conditioned NABC (pins
at the NABC station; tapping time TBA):
There may be last-minute surprises
Cask-conditioned NABC (firkins
at the real ale tent):
Beaks Best
Mt. Lee
Naughty Girl (Double Dry
At the NABC main station, C02 pour:
IX – Ninth Anniversary (2011)
ABV: 9%
OG: 20 degrees Plato
IBU: 50
Smoked Oatmeal Stout (Port barrel-aged)
 … we’ve always saved birthday beers for later.
When NABC began brewing in 2002, we were New
’s first commercial brewery in 67 years. The
very first brewer in town was a Scotsman named Hew Ainslie in 1840. He was a
poet and Scots patriot, and we believe he would have approved the resurgence of
Progressive Pints in his quirky river town, which is celebrating its 200th
birthday in 2013, making it …
Ancient Rage
ABV: 7.5%
OG: 17 degrees Plato
IBU: 130
India Pale Ale
(Bourbon barrel-aged)
 … justified and ancient, not to mention
sometimes blind, and reminding us that just south of New Albany are hundreds of thousands of
gently used bourbon barrels. We at NABC decided to build an IPA meant for rest
and repose in some of them, because they really needed liberating, and  …
B’Urban Trotter (2011)
ABV: 9.2%
OG: 21 degrees Plato
IBU: 208
Imperial India Pale Ale
 … sometimes the ideal finish line is located at
the starting gate. If the Kentucky Derby is the greatest two minutes in sports,
then B’Urban Trotter is the finest few moments in sipping, because what better
place for a brewer/ostrich rancher from Flanders to seek inspiration than
Louisville’s annual Run for the Roses? With collaborative assistance from NABC
and Louisville Beer Store, De Struise’s Urbain Coutteau created this “Derbied”
Double India Pale Ale to be dry-hopped and bourbon/oak aged, with a suggestion
of mint for the home stretch. You might even …
ABV: 9.5%
OG: 20 degrees Plato
IBU: 18
Imperial Chocolate Milk Stout (Bourbon Barrel Aged)
… “go forth and proceed,” in
the immortal words of our local musician friend Roz Tate. The first batches of
Bourbondaddy appeared in 2003 and 2004. The 10th anniversary revival
version from 2012 began life as an Imperial Chocolate Mik Stout, and then was
racked into Angel’s Envy barrels for four months’ aging. It’s a good deal
stronger than session ales, but …
Community Dark
ABV: 3.7%
OG: 11.5 degrees Plato
IBU: 12.5
English Mild Ale
 … inside is what counts, and NABC’s best
selling beer in its own two New Albany premises is a traditional English Mild,
the style that fueled the factory workers who made the Industrial Revolution
during Ainslie’s period of exile from Scotland. Community Dark is revolutionary
in its own way. It’s dark-colored but light-bodied, session ale suitable for our
emerging downtown renaissance, if only we could wean today’s workers from that
Lite crapola, and so they’d best …
Hacksaw Jim Dunkel
ABV: 6%
OG: 15.3 degrees Plato
IBU: 22
German Dark Lager
 … beware the folding metal chair. Noting that
brewery co-owner’s Roger’s knowledge of professional wrestling does not extend
past Gorgeous George and Jerry Lawler, any reference to two-by-fours in the
context of this rich, malty German-style dark lager is utterly wasted. Roger
prefers the brand of baseball once played by past New Albanian stars Jouette
Meekin and Billy Herman, and while we’re talking about departed heroes, NABC’s
Hard Core Gore
ABV: 11%
OG: 24 degrees Plato
IBU: 135
Belgo-American IPA
 … Hard Core Gore is a unique beer for a unique
man. Each year, we remember the late Jason Gore with this massive ale named in
his honor. He was a colleague, friend and co-conspirator, who would have been
30 years old on March 21, 2013. Fuck cancer. Here’s to Jason’s singular legacy
and the ironclad principle of …
ABV: 10.7%
OG: 22.6 degrees Plato
IBU: 100
Imperial India Pale Ale
 … sterner stuff, as when you grasp that living
vicariously through others is a sad compromise meant only for rank amateurs and
subpar international lagers. Rather, we all might profit from the principled
example of Hoptimus, which lives vivaciously, audaciously and capriciously
through itself. With a snarky hop character that is blatantly unrepentant,
Hoptimus ensures that meek palates surely will inherit neither New Albany nor the planet earth, being
assisted in this aim by …
Hoptimus (Bourbon Barrel-aged)
ABV: 10.7%
OG: 22.6 degrees Plato
IBU: 100
Imperial India Pale Ale (Bourbon
 … sterner barrel-aged stuff, because when Hoptimus
is barrel-aged, we put extra words at the end of the written description and
prep a few more stretchers, seeing as though further …

ABV: 10.7%
OG: 22.6 degrees Plato
IBU: 100
Imperial India Pale Ale (Oak Aged)
 … aging on even sterner stuff can lead
Hoptimus to don its brilliant disguise as Oaktimus, and let me tell you, the
liteweights begin fleeing in sheer panic, although they’re not allowed to board
ABV: 4.5%
OG: 11 degrees Plato
IBU: 28
American Wheat Ale
 … the “gypsy train to Houston
without explicit written permission from the New Albany band called Houndmouth, whose first
album recently was released. It’s called “From the Hills Below the City,” and NABC
recommends pairing it with the group’s namesake Houndmouth Ale and heeding the
admonition that when listening and drinking, you must …
ABV: 7.5%
OG: 18.8 degrees Plato
IBU: 20
Wheat Doppelbock
 … watch your step, since Johannes Knobentinus
didn’t. He was an immigrant from Down Lower Liechtenstein, and the man for whom
the majestic Hills Below the City – the Knobs of Floyd – were named in 1842 in
the wake of a most tragic accident: The death by drowning of Knobentinus
himself, who accidentally fell into a vat of Ainslie’s Turbo Hog Malt Liquor
and expired after coming up for air only three times, a victim of a sad age,
denied a chance to go west, young man, and learn that …   
Mt. Lee (also cask-conditioned at the real ale
ABV: 6.4%
OG: 16 degrees Plato
IBU: 65
California Common
 … everything loose eventually lands in LA,
including California Common, the beer commonly thought to hail from the Gold
Rush days in ‘Frisco. NABC has relocated its uncommon Common to the City of Angels – specifically, to Mt.
Lee, site of the famous Hollywood alphabet. Don’t ask why; only New Albany’s own Prince Charming,
television’s Josh Dallas, knows for sure, and we wouldn’t want him to …
Stumble Bus
ABV: 11.2%
OG: 25 degrees Plato
IBU: 126
American Strong Ale
 … fall off the Stumble Bus. Along with
Bourbondaddy, Stumble Bus is the most fondly remembered seasonal ale brewed by
NABC’s founding brewer, Michael Borchers. Was it Imperial IPA, or was it
Barleywine? What is it now? It’s not the destination; it’s the journey,
but our advice is to check the schedule and make sure to visit …
The Dunwich Porter
ABV: 7%
OG: 17.5 degrees Plato
IBU: 34
Smoked Porter
 … New
’s sister (great grand-niece?) city, described
by H.P. Lovecraft in his story “The
Dunwich Horror” as “lonely and curious,” boasting “sparsely
scattered houses wear(ing) a surprisingly uniform aspect of age, squalor, and
dilapidation,” with “gnarled, solitary” inhabitants who are
“silent and furtive.” In other words, our quirky river town — before
NABC got hold of it. Now we thrive on beers like The Dunwich Porter, rendering
life …
ABV: 7.5%
OG: 17 degrees Plato
IBU: 33
Post-Colonial Common
 … by sanity’s edge somewhat tolerable, such
that we spend most of our days drinking for the future. Yes, New Albany’s bicentennial is right now, in
2013, and it has been a predictably white-bread, old-person exercise in civic
by-the-numbers thinking, perpetuated by all the usual venerable suspects. NABC
decided to
out this year’s “official” commemoration, better to honor the “next” one – that
more hopeful, forthcoming party we’re all absolutely guaranteed to miss, not
because we weren’t invited as in 2013, but because each and every one of us
will be dead as door nails by 2113. Happy birthday to us. See you later … a
whole lot later … be sure to save some …
Cask-conditioned NABC (firkins at the real ale tent):
Beak’s Best
ABV: 5.3%
OG: 14.75 degrees Plato
IBU: 35
Anglo-American Ale
 … American bitter & soul liniment for the
time machine, similar to NABC’s ale, named in honor of globetrotting historian
and educator Don “Beak” Barry, whose bibulous exploits abroad have
set the tone for generations of New Albanians to drink themselves to sleep on
their couches, dreaming of the days when they were …
Naughty Girl
ABV: 6%
OG: 14.4 degrees Plato
IBU: 69
India Blonde Ale
 … naturally naughty by nurture; savoring the Belgo-American
ménage a trois; gaming the tryst; but then we awakening to the arrival of strange
brewers and the transformation of a trans-oceanic affair into a hell-bent beer-love
pentangle. The collaborative minds at Louisville Beer Store, De Struise
Brouwers and New Albanian Brewing Company fashioned a willfully disobedient
India Blonde Ale with a hop on her shoulder, which is double dry-hopped when
cask-conditioned. It’s where the New Albanian story ends. Or begins,
considering that …