REPRISE: Stop “reaching out” before I tear your arm off.

0
205

Seeing as the year just got under way, a reminder is warranted.

At work, I receive sales solicitations on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis. Many of them are advertising pitches, which are annoying in the best of times. However, many others are for a wide array of worthy causes, to which I generally respond by donating one of my personal, guided tasting certificates. These tend to do quite well in silent auction formats.

Admittedly, I’m finding it a bit tedious to be asked to donate multiple kegs of beer for your fundraisers, but that’s a different topic, for another time.

Recently I received an e-mail; names and organizations have been removed to protect those about to be harshly berated.

My name is ( … ) and I am emailing you on behalf of ( … ). I wanted to reach out and give you an opportunity to participate in our first annual fundraiser to be held …

Pay attention, world, and observe these words carefully:

I wanted to reach out …

That’s what I thought you wrote.

Note that I DETEST THIS CONTEMPTIBLE, LAZY, TRENDY USAGE!

You can request, ask, demand, beg, implore or connive, and there’s a good chance I will finish reading your words, or listening to you speak your piece.

But, henceforth, any solicitation I receive that bears any trace of this lingustic “reach out” repugnance will be unceremoniously trashed.

You have been warned. Carry on. Sorry we can’t do business. Not really.

LEAVE A REPLY