It’s time for more New Albanisms, and you, too, can contribute.


It’s been more than a year since the first installment.

Today’s Tribune column: “A New Albanist’s Dictionary.”

Now it’s time for Volume 2, coming soon, or as soon as I complete it.

Examples of the genre:

Infinite Monkey Theorem
Expression of mathematical probability suggesting that if given enough time, an ape typing at random would eventually write Shakespeare’s “Hamlet,” or an ordinance outlawing the Historical Preservation Commission.

Skin-tight leg wraps that viscerally threaten the fragile masculinity of a former Gang of Four council stalwart; also called “tights,” as in, “Let’s get all tights and vote in my garage for a change.”

Get to thinking, people, and add your New Albanisms to the comments here, or e-mail them to me. Your contribution will be attributed.