I’m not keen on forwarded e-mail, but there are times …
First, a friend sent a compendium of old “Calvin and Hobbes” panels featuring Calvin and his surreal snowmen. Then, another one deposited a link to this send-up of the disgraced Rev. Haggard.
‘Tis the season, and all that, but this is the finest holiday cheer I’ve had in a while — and that’s just the lyrics, because with a home computer missing sound after recent overhauls, I can’t yet listen to the MP3.
Don’t forget to visit the site and view the dynamic photo.
SUPERTELEVANGELISTIC SEX-AND-DRUGS PSYCHOSIS
Parody of “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” (Sherman/Sherman)
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion
PERFORMED BY ROBERT LUND Download MP3 (1.8 MB)
I used to be a master of the anti-gay crusade
Until a butch disaster blew my pastor masquerade
But if it’s true I’m pounding more than pulpits, don’t blame me
It’s ’cause I caught my hooker-tweaker-stud’s infirmity
It’s
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Worse than plague and bird flu crossed with osteoporosis
We were playing doctor and he gave this diagnosis:
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
I found the perfect therapist – the kind that gives massage
I like to drive my Escort and I park in his garage
I swear he only serves me crank when all his Coke is gone
And then he helps me straighten out my Peter, James, and John
Blame
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
That’s my greatest guilty pleasure next to Guns N’ Roses
Good thing there’s no ban on it in all the books of Moses
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye
It seems all pious public figures bugger on the sly
But Jesus loved republicans and sinners; so must I
Say “Holy moley, Mister Foley! That boy’s underage!”
But I believe the congressman has turned another page
Oh!
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis
Next time, better cut me off at handshakes and Mimosas
No more meth or men for me – at least in overdoses!
Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis!
(Just a spoonful of crystal helps the prostitute go down…)
© Spaff.com 2006+
