Not spectacular enough? Maybe they should play some Zappa, instead.

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Apparently since local officials see little need to use the New Albany riverfront on any regular (or creative, or sensible) basis, director Bob Trinkle intends to make as big a bang as possible during the annual 4th of July fireworks display, hence a plan that is so innately Trinklesque that it fairly begs for Steve Price’s musical participation:

City’s goal: A harmony of hundreds; July 4 organizer wants band to set Guinness record, by Eric Scott Campbell (News and Tribune).

If you wake up July 5 with fuzzy memories of the world’s largest rock band playing “Hang On Sloopy” and “Louie, Louie,” don’t assume the holiday heat and beverages went to your head.

New Albany riverfront director Bob Trinkle is organizing an attempt to set a new Guinness Book of World Records mark at the city’s July 4 celebration. Not break one — there’s no category for largest rock ’n’ roll band yet, said Trinkle, who has been e-mailing back and forth with Guinness officials.

This year’s attempt won’t be the first time New Albany has tried to elbow its way into the Guinness annals. Indeed, Trinkle said the city should be in there already.“

Back when Chas Hunter was mayor, in the early ’80s, we tried to do the largest hot dog roast,” Trinkle recalled. “I think we did 3,000. I tried to pick something I didn’t think was an existing record. But it didn’t get in.”

Why not? “Beats me; I sent everything I was supposed to. I think maybe they considered it not spectacular enough to put in the book,” Trinkle lamented.

In fairness to Price, the 3rd District councilman often has proclaimed his support for using the riverfront, and I believe him.

No money? Well, why not privatize it? Given a reasonable opportunity to make a profit, there should be a promoter somwhere who’s willing to incur the risk based on advance contractual criteria.

Here’s the pitch to NAC’s weekend readers: Would you rather see New Albany in the Guinness Book of World Records for playing “Hang on Sloopy,” or would you rather drink Guinness by the riverfront while listening to regularly scheduled musical events?

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